Those Lousy Childfree Children

This is the Finest Nerd Czarina, and I hate the news. Specifically, I hate the idea that all Millennials are awful people because Baby Boomers said so.

At the tender age of 36 (born in 1982), I am among the oldest* Generation Y / Millennials. I choose to keep the term “millennial” and not something idiotic like “x-ennial” or “Generation Whydoweevenbotherwiththisshit” because it seems trendy for Baby Boomers and older Gen X’ers to shit on millennials, making all sorts of assumptions or being mad when this group of people who were born within a 20 year span of time does absolutely anything. Millennials have jobs? THEY TOOK THEM FROM US. Millennials don’t have jobs? LAZY SONS OF BITCHES. My left eyeball is twitching just thinking about it.

Let’s just be honest about this for a moment. Baby Boomers had it fairly easy in terms of having opportunities to do such crazy things like own property, attending college without hundreds of thousands of dollars of debt, and finding work. Everyone who came along after a certain point was fucked. Millennials are living in a barren wasteland of horseshit that you BB’s left behind, and we’re somehow responsible. Sure!

I could keep going – and I will; don’t worry – but today in the “Millennials Exist and Therefore Suck!” files, Baby Boomers are pissed off that Millennials are exercising their freedom of choice and not adding to the overpopulation of the world! Let me step to the side for a second: Whatever you decide to do regarding parenthood is perfectly fine. What I find obnoxious is the presumption that everyone of a certain age absolutely needs to procreate lest their lives not have any real value.

Anyhow, back to the article and today’s Baby Boomer rant. The author brings up two points: First, BB’s are upset about not having grandchildren. I admit I don’t understand this reason at all. My mother called me up one day when I was around 25 or 26 and told me something that nobody should ever have to hear: “If you have a baby, I’ll move in with you!”

That’s how I became infertile.

No, just kidding. I’m infertile because my body is essentially genetic trash! My mother and I have a complicated relationship that doesn’t include things like spending time together, pleasant conversation, and being in the same room with each other without arguing after 10 minutes. For her to even entertain the idea of us cohabiting in return for my continuing our genetic lineage is crazy. This whole idea that BB’s are entitled to grandchildren is crazy. Half of you guys are a-ok with babies and toddlers living in facilities after having been forcibly removed from their loving parents’ care due to their immigrant status, but your adult children are the worst for doing other things with their lives besides becoming parents.

The second – and probably more obnoxious – reason why BB’s are unhappy with their childfree Millennial offspring is because of how the lack of Generation Z’ers, or Z-ple (get it? I’m so clever) will negatively impact their retirement plans. In short, no one will be buying up the homes they bought when they decide it’s time to move into their posh retirement communities, because they simply don’t exist. Never mind that the cost of living has skyrocketed while wages have remained the same, that children are expensive to bring up, and that Millennials are barely able to scrape by when they only have to keep themselves alive.

Is it going to be tough for sellers in a few years? Maybe. That’s how the market works, though. Sometimes it’s a buyer’s market, and sometimes it’s a seller’s market. Sometimes you buy a huge house in a great neighborhood and try to sell it for hundreds of thousands of dollars to people who could only dream of affording it. That’s not a matter of Millennials being assholes; that’s just life. Sometimes, things are less than ideal for you. I don’t feel bad about it.

home real estate
Photo by Binyamin Mellish on

BONUS RANT: Here’s another thing that I find irritating. Generation Z (the ones currently being born, mind you) have already gotten labeled as the New Silent Generation. Really, fools? Half of them can’t fucking talk yet. Some of them haven’t been born. The oldest ones are just entering high school. Give them a chance to be complacent or not – and I hope that they aren’t. I hope they make a lot of noise and get shit done, take our jobs, and kick us out of power.

* I know the actual start/end dates for the different generations varies slightly depending on the source you’re looking at, but whatever one I had looked at when I got curious about it had Gen Y spanning 2002-1982, so I’ve just been referencing that. Not that it matters in the grand scheme of things.

2 thoughts on “Those Lousy Childfree Children

Add yours

  1. Nice rant, FNC. As a Generational Warfare enthusiast (I have the whole collection of figurines), I do enjoy a good rant. Especially when it’s about the Boomers.

    I agree Millennials have copped a bad wrap, and Gen Z is already being lined up for a bollocking by the Permanently Indignant Outrage Brigade. Every generation, I suspect, is accused of being lazy by their elder generations, because older people judge younger people by higher standers than they judge themselves. Even the Baby Boomer were called lazy and entitled by the Silent Generation.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Sorry your comment got stuck in moderation; I had no idea. You do have a point; every generation is going to feel the burn at some point. My goal is not to become a bitter older person when the time comes; we all have to keep in mind that every other person we meet has a life and a set of circumstances we don’t know about. I guess that’s why I get so rattled when I hear yet another complaint about “Millennials” – we’re not all the same! And we can’t possibly be as bad as our parents’ generation says we are… and if we were, well, who raised us? 😉


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