This is the Finest Nerd Czarina, and I hate the news. Today, I am irritated by how much criticism Meghan Markle has been getting by the media, seemingly for just existing. Now, I am neither English nor a resident of a commonwealth of England, so perhaps that’s why I don’t understand the fascination with the royal family, but I’ll tell you all one thing. It annoys the shit out of me when people make a big deal out of literally everything having to do with my generation of royal people. William is losing his hair? Cool, so are a good number of other men our age. Kate wore the same pair of shoes a few times in a row? Maybe she fucking likes them. Harry smoked weed and drank alcohol in college? Holy shit, not a single other college kid has ever done that; call the cops ASAP.
These days, it seems that Meghan Markle is having a turn having her every move scrutinized by the public. She’s an American, a woman of color, and she just married into the royal family – she’s prime gossip column real estate. Recently, she was criticized when her hair blew around in the wind. (I wasn’t aware that hair was supposed to remain perfectly coiffed in place despite the weather, but what do I know?) Today, I came across a story that casually brought up how her feet sank into the grass when wearing heels at an outdoor wedding. Did we really have to know that? Anyone who has ever worn heels to an outdoor venue has had this happen to them before. It isn’t news. It’s just unfortunate.
Why don’t we save the scandalous reports for when she actually does something newsworthy, like punch a reporter in the face for reminding her for the 928349302nd time that she really ought to wear hosiery – even though nobody else is – because it seems super royal? That would be great news I could get behind.