Am I the only one who…?

NO.

NO, YOU ARE NOT.

PEOPLE NEED TO STOP ASKING QUESTIONS THAT START OUT THIS WAY. Of the 5 billion people living on this earth at any given moment, I assure you that you are not the only person who:

• Hates football
• Cares about cats
• Eats spaghetti with their toes
• Watched the latest episode of [insert literally ANYTHING here]
• Likes phone calls over text messages
• Took a shit five minutes ago

I know it’s a little thing to get irritated about, but so. many. people. begin questions with this phrase when they want to express an opinion about something or just make some kind of announcement. Trust me, no matter how bizarre and unique you think your opinion is, there are hundreds of people who feel the same way. You are not that special.

But I love you, anyway.