The B Word When I was young and spunky, my parents had a friend named Fred. He was the most interesting person I knew at the time. A very wealthy man, Fred had a pool, a mansion, and a significantly younger live-in girlfriend. (I didn’t even know it was possible to live with someone with... Continue Reading →
Teeny Tiny Chronicles, Chapter 7: Star
Star While my father used his paternal advantage against his easily-embarrassed offspring, my mother provided more than enough unintentional retribution for anything he ever did (and will do in the future, for that matter). The following tale takes place in 2003, at a time when I was becoming less ashamed of, and thereby more amused... Continue Reading →
Teeny Tiny Chronicles, Chapter 6: Follow the Bubbles
FOLLOW THE BUBBLES Summertime was particularly difficult for my parents, as we were at home with nothing to do for months. One way my mother kept my sister and me entertained was to bring home a whole package of pink copy paper from the hospital and letting us draw our little hearts out. We always... Continue Reading →
Teeny Tiny Chronicles, Chapter 4: Shoes
Shoes When I was in school, one of my teachers designated a block of time once a week to read from Shel Silverstein’s A Light in the Attic. I always looked forward to it, partially because I thought that being read to was a great luxury and partially because I was so captivated by Mister Silverstein’s... Continue Reading →
Teeny Tiny Chronicles, Chapter 3: Fired
FIRED When I was a little girl, I told my mother that I was terminating our parent-child contract and would soon be looking for a replacement mother. “You’re not my mom anymore,” I said. She was furious, but I remained steadfast in my decision. I would be looking for alternative mothers in the near future.... Continue Reading →
Teeny Tiny Chronicles, Chapter 1: Books
Once upon a time, I was a child. These are my stories. BOOKS My mother likes to recall the moment I learned to read, back when I was three years of age. They were short sentences and very easy words, but I had taken so long to start speaking, the fact that I was reading... Continue Reading →
